


Lingering Feelings

by fencingfox



Series: Song Fic Collection [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Song Inspired, Song: If I Can't Have You, Song: Weak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 22:21:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20379055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fencingfox/pseuds/fencingfox
Summary: Chakotay frequents karaoke night at Sandrine's every Thursday night with the same song for the same woman.RATING: Explicit for sexy times.





	Lingering Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is set some time after _New Earth_ during some behind the scenes time and who's going to argue with me?
> 
> I'm _weak_; I couldn't wait a week to post this and its sister story. Besides, I have a long one ready for Friday now.

* * *

Sandrine's usual sleazy atmosphere was replaced tonight by a playful one. Tom had created a Karaoke Night on Thursdays where the crew could sing a number or two into the more modern microphone set across from the bar. The pool table was no where to be seen. Chairs and tables took its place. The bar was full of off-duty personnel. Some gathered in small groups to sip their drinks and talk about their weeks. Others watched with rapt attention to the singers. 

"Thank you Susan Nicoletti and Megan Delaney for your wonderful rendition of _Wannabe_ in the style of the Spice Girls," the booming voice of the large holographic man said to the crowd. Susan and Megan walked off the stage giggling and with their drinks in hand. The best thing about Karaoke night, in Tom's opinion, was that all the drinks were real. It made getting singers easier. "Next we have Chakotay singing _If I Can't Have You_ in the style of Shawn Mendes." Chakotay took the small stage next to the DJ's booth to a light smattering of applause. "On deck, we have Tom Paris." If Chakotay was off duty, he sang the same song every week. It happened to be that this week, a certain auburn-headed Captain was in attendance. Chakotay took up the microphone and looked at the blue screen in front of him for his cue to begin singing. The music kicked up with it's usual upbeat attitude. Chakotay took sang in a deeper baritone than the song was originally sung in. The Captain thought it fit the song well. 

"I can't write one song that's not about you  
Can't drink without thinkin' about you  
Is it too late to tell you that  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?

On this last line, Chakotay looked away from the screen and directly at the Captain. He knew this song well enough to sing it without looking at the words. He sang the rest of the song without looking at the screen, swaying slightly to the beat. Even if he sang this song almost every week, the crowd watched with attention. Chakotay had a surprisingly smooth singing voice. He always did a great job on stage. 

"I'm in Toronto and I got this view  
But I might as well be in a hotel room, yeah  
It doesn't matter 'cause I'm so consumed  
Spending all my nights reading texts from you

The Captain looked around the room to see if anyone noticed who Chakotay's gaze was on. She didn't see anyone looking her way. Everyone watched him singing and swaying. 

"Oh, I'm good at keepin' my distance  
I know that you're the feelin' I'm missing  
You know that I hate to admit it  
But everything means nothin' if I can't have you

The Captain watched Chakotay intently herself. She hadn't heard the song before but was beginning to think it was a love song. And he was singing it to _her_. 

"I can't write one song that's not about you  
Can't drink without thinkin' about you  
Is it too late to tell you that  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?  
I can't write one song that's not about you  
Can't drink without thinkin' about you  
Is it too late to tell you that  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?

The Captain felt her cheeks warm. She looked down at her drink, sure that Chakotay was still singing to her. Her mind drifted to their time on New Earth when he'd admitted his feeling to her with the story of the Angry Warrior. Although the story was made up, she knew the feelings were not. 

"I'm so sorry that my timing's off  
But I can't move on if we're still gonna talk  
Is it wrong for me to not want half?  
I want all of you, all the strings attached

Apparently, he still had those feelings for her. She contemplated exploring them with him. She had to admit, she was a bit upset when Tuvok called them with news of their rescue. She was beginning to look forward to a life with Chakotay, to making a family with him even. Her cheeks colored deeper. 

"Oh, I'm good at keepin' my distance  
I know that you're the feelin' I'm missing  
You know that I hate to admit it  
But everything means nothin' if I can't have you

Kathryn looked back at Chakotay. His dark eyes were still locked on her. She had actually planned on telling him her realization the day that Tuvok called. They were the only humans on New Earth with no command structure to worry about. What else would they do? 

"I can't write one song that's not about you  
Can't drink without thinkin' about you  
Is it too late to tell you that  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?  
I can't write one song that's not about you  
Can't drink without thinkin' about you  
Is it too late to tell you that  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?

Kathryn was both glad and disappointed that she hadn't told him. If she had, then when they got back to _Voyager_ things would have been very complicated for the both of them. Then if she had told him, he wouldn't be singing, but rather holding her probably. Her face flushed a darker red. She was almost the same color as her hair. 

"I'm trying to move on  
Forget you, but I hold on  
Everything means nothing  
Everything means nothing, babe  
I'm trying to move on  
Forget you, but I hold on  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you, no

Kathryn decided to herself that she would ask Chakotay about it when he came down to her. She listened to the conclusion of the song with all of her attention. 

"I can't write one song that's not about you  
Can't drink without thinkin' about you  
Is it too late to tell you that  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?  
I can't write one song that's not about you  
Can't drink without thinkin' about you  
Is it too late to tell you that  
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?

Kathryn brought her hands together to clap for Chakotay's performance. He smiled coyly and took a small bow before conceding the stage to a nervous Tom. The DJ announced that Seven would be next while he situated himself with the mic. She scanned the bar again and spotted her chief engineer in a small circle of Maquis. Tom eyed her as he began to sing. Kathryn felt bad. His song was also something of a love song, but B'Elanna was paying him no mind. At least she knew she was the object of unrequited love. B'Elanna seemed completely oblivious. Chakotay sidled up next to her at the small table they shared. 

"I liked your song." She placed a hand on his. He looked at her. 

"Thank you." 

"Was it...um...about me?" Chakotay paused, swirling his glass. He smiled gently. 

"No. I just like the song." Chakotay deflected. "Are you going to sing something?" Kathryn laughed. She wouldn't press him now. It was the answer the Captain wanted to hear but it tugged at Kathryn's heart strings. 

"Me? No. I can't sing!" She pulled her hand back and took her drink into her hand. 

"You probably haven't found the right song, then." She glowered at him. 

"No. I'm sure I can't sing. Half of the bar would probably die of blood loss when their ears burst." Seven had asked her to come by to hear her sing. Since the Hirogen attack on the ship, Seven discovered that she had a wonderful voice and even enjoyed singing. The Captain was glad to see her prodigy take the stage and the audience's attention with confidence. Her voice was high and sweet as she sang an old aria that she suspected the Doctor suggested. She finished her song with gusto to a loud round of applause. The Captain finished the last of her drink. "I should probably get going. I only came to hear Seven." If she wasn't mistaken, she thought she saw Chakotay's expression drop a little. 

"Let me walk you back?" He asked as he stood. The Captain was going to say no until she stood up and nearly fell over. Chakotay caught her by the shoulders, bringing her body close enough to his to feel his heat radiate off of him. 

"What?" The word was drawn out in confusion. 

"The drinks are real on karaoke night." He released Kathryn. "How many did you have?" 

"Just one. But I drank it quickly. Woo." Her head spun a little. "Okay, I'll take you up on your offer to walk me back. Can't have a drunk Captain roaming the corridors of _Voyager_ alone." Chakotay offered her his arm. She linked her arm with his and rested her opposite hand on his forearm. They walked silently to her quarters, drawing a few looks from some of the bar patrons. 

"Honestly, Chakotay. If that song wasn't for me, then who was it for?" She jabbed his chest with a finger. "You were staring at me the whole time." Against her better judgement, she pressed him. They had reached her quarters now. She turned to face him before entering her code to go into her room. All of Chakotay froze except for his eyes. They flitted between Kathryn's blue ones. _Do I dare?_ He bent his head to hers, giving her plenty of time to back away and call him out on his boldness. Carefully, he pressed his lips to hers. She was surprised, but at least she had her answer. She kissed him back. If she hadn't been drinking, she might have pushed him away. But with the alcohol, she was less inhibited. She broke the kiss after a moment and pressed at her door behind her until it opened. 

"Chakotay?" She held his hand and tried to pull him inside. He stood still, easily able to stand his ground. 

"No, you can barely stand. I can't believe that you can consent in this state." He bent to kiss her again. A young ensign looked on in shock as the Captain kissed her first officer back. Chakotay stepped away after a moment of what the ensign recognized as a deep kiss. 

"Next time then, Chakotay." She smiled at him as the door closed. Chakotay sighed and turned around. He spotted the young ensign and wondered how long she'd been standing there. 

"Not a word. Understood?" 

"Yes, sir." The ensign dropped her head and quickly walked past Chakotay to her station. Chakotay watched her go before heading to his own quarters. 

**=/\=**

Chakotay sat down uncomfortably in his chair next to the Captain the next morning. He was a little worried that she would chew him out for what happened last night. When he sat down, he noticed a faint blush on her cheeks. He thought that she must have remembered her single word plea before he left her. _At least I won't get in trouble._

"Good morning, Captain," he said as he sat down. He leaned over to the console between them to pull up yesterday's reports. 

"Good morning, Commander." It was business as usual even if she was blushing. Chakotay sighed. He probably wouldn't get another chance like last night. Their shifts went by easily each day. To him, it seemed like nothing had happened between them. 

When Thursday night came around, Chakotay found himself in the bar, once again ready to sing. When he entered the bar, he had looked around for Kathryn, but having not seen her, he took a chair at the bar alone. The DJ announced that his turn would be next and Chakotay leaned back in his chair to nurse his drink. Halfway through Naomi and Sam's duet, he felt a light tap on his shoulder and a voice which he longed to hear at his side. 

"Is this seat taken?" 

"It is." The Captain turned to leave, feeling that she wasn't welcome. Chakotay turned and grabbed her wrist. "By you." He smiled playfully as she took her seat. 

"I see you have a song coming up? Which one is it?" He nodded. 

"Yeah, it's called _Weak_." 

"Now we have Chakotay with something new: _Weak_. On deck is Harry." Chakotay walked to the stage with the Captain's eyes watching his every move. He stepped gracefully onto the stage. The song had an upbeat swing to it like the last one he sang. Kathryn was curious as to what the lyrics would be and if they would be aimed at her again. She had had plenty of time to think about last week and decided to stay away from the alcohol for a while yet. 

"'No thank you' is what I should've said, I should be in bed  
But temptations of trouble on my tongue, troubles yet to come

Chakotay didn't seem to know the song as well as before. He looked at the screen as he sang. 

"One sip, bad for me  
One hit, bad for me  
One kiss, bad for me  
But I give in so easily  
And no thank you is how it should've gone  
I should stay strong

The lyrics brought their kiss to her mind. It sounded almost like he regretted kissing her and she was a bit surprised and embarrassed to find that her stomach dropped in disappointment. 

"But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love it when I fall for that  
I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
I'm weak  
But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
(Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that)

Kathryn smiled. _So he didn't regret it after all._ Her spirits lifted as she listened to his deep baritone sing to her. 

"No thank you  
They call me after dark, I don't want no part  
My habits, they hold me like a grudge  
I promise I won't budge

After this part, he looked at her while he sang since the lyrics repeated themselves. He glanced back at the screen for a few lines that were new, but mostly sang directly to her. The crowd applauded when he finished and Kathryn joined in, beaming. The song was sweet yet told her all she needed to know. Chakotay hopped down from the stage and weaved his way between the tables back to her. 

"So, did you like it?" She smirked and leaned in to whisper into his ear. 

"I'm the one that makes you weak, huh?" Chakotay blushed and swallowed a lump in his throat. 

"Yeah," his voice was husky as he nodded. She pressed her lips to his cheek and planted a quick kiss there. Chakotay pulled her face to his and kissed her. They broke away when they heard the applause and joyous whoops. Embarrassed, the Captain looked around the bar to see all eyes on them. She had been hoping they were clapping for the song, but she hadn't heard another song even start. 

"Way to _go_, Commander!" Tom whooped. Chakotay smiled sheepishly at the crowd. _Oh I'm in trouble...._

"Alright, alright enough." The applause died down as the Captain raised her hands, taking control of the situation. When the laughter stopped and the crew returned to whatever they had been doing before, the Captain turned in her chair and ordered a drink. Before placing the glass to her lips she moved closer to Chakotay. 

"I'm going to drink some, but sober Kathryn assents to...more than kissing." She shied away from the actual word, not believing herself capable of asking her first officer and close friend what she was asking him now. Chakotay nodded. They drank and talked for a few hours, before Chakotay stood up and offered his arm for Kathryn. She had stopped drinking an hour ago and already her mind was clearing. Still, she was a bit wobbly when she took his arm. It was half from the alcohol and half from her nerves. Chakotay led them slowly to her quarter. She palmed at the door, not wanting to think about how half the crew would have their guesses about what their command team was up to now. She figured that most of those guesses would be spot on. She pulled them into her quarters. She and Chakotay toed their shoes off at the door before Kathryn led them to her bed. 

Once there, she felt like an awkward teenager again. She wasn't quite sure what to do next. She knew what the final step would be but she didn't know what to do to get to that. She needn't worry since Chakotay seemed to know what he was doing. He began by undressing her slowly. He kissed the skin he revealed as he snaked his fingers under the hem of her blouse and pulled it over her head. Her bra was red and lacy. It complimented her auburn hair. He reached up for the pin holding her hair in place and removed it, watching in silent awe as it tumbled down around her face. He leaned forward and kissed her, holding her body firmly in his arms. She felt wobbly again. Sex while tipsy did this to her. Her whole body protested at standing and wobbled under her. Only Chakotay's strong arms were preventing her from slumping to the floor in a pile of tipsy captain. He led her backward to her bed. When the back of his calves hit the mattress he lowered himself into a sitting position. He urged Kathryn to straddle him as they returned to kissing and exploring. His fingers found the back of her bra and with a pinch and flick of his wrist, he unlatched it so that the bra fell away. He broke the kiss to slip the straps from her shoulders. At this height, he had easy access to her breasts. He took one into his mouth and began teasing the nipple with his tongue. He drew lazy circles around and over it, nipped the erect tissue a few times, and pulled away to blow lightly on the sensitive flesh. Kathryn moaned softly at his ministrations. She had dropped her head to his shoulder and the moans reverberated in his ear. It caused his penis to twitch upward in arousal. Kathryn could feel the slightly hardened member below her. She circled her hips over him and was pleased to feel it harden further. 

When he finished, Kathryn tugged at his dress shirt. She pulled it from his pants swiftly and then began unbuttoning the shirt. When she finished, he helped her slide it over his shoulders and arms. Kathryn marveled. The shirt had hidden his well-formed biceps from her. She ran her hands over the tops of the rippling muscles, enjoying their firm feel. She knelt to kiss both sides before covering his mouth with hers. She realized something that she already knew: he was a good kisser. He wasn't timid, but he wasn't overly aggressive either. His tongue coaxed her mouth to open. When it did, he ran his tongue over every inch of her mouth that he could reach. Their tongues tangled on occasion and Kathryn moaned into the kiss every so often to encourage him. Kathryn fumbled for his pants. She felt lightheaded with desire now. When Chakotay realized her intention he pulled away and undid his pants. Kathryn stood to let him pull pants and boxers off in one move. He then went to her skirt. It had no buttons so he slipped them down with her panties quickly. They pooled at her ankles and she stepped out of them to sit on his lap again. She relished the feeling of his skin against hers. As they kissed, she rocked her body against his, eliciting a few groans as his cock felt the wet entrance of her body. She pushed back on him so that he was laying down and she went on all fours over him. Chakotay scooted his body up the bed. Kathryn took in the form of her first officer. His skin was darkened with a slight tan and she wondered how he'd managed that. The area where a pair of swim trunks would lay were slightly lighter than the rest of him. His chest was lightly hairy. She let her fingers linger in the thin locks. 

After a long moment of admiring him, she pulled her legs up his body so that they rested near his hips and sides. Her feet were bent under her to allow her leverage as she grasped his cock and slid onto it. He groaned as her moist passage enveloped him. It was better than he'd remembered. She rocked against him. The hair on his pubic bone tickled her thighs as she did so. It took a few tries but soon she found a good place to be. She began moving herself up and down on him. When she did, Chakotay began to thrust up into her. She gasped as he hit her cervix with more force than she was expecting. Her body tremored at the sensation. Again and again she moved herself up and down while he pushed himself up. She felt close and wanted to hurry herself along so she began playing with her clitoris sensuously. Chakotay watched as his lover touched herself. The sight made him hungry for much more. He regretted having not gone down on her yet and told himself that would be for next time. He hoped this became as common an occurrence as their weekly dinners. She shuddered as an orgasm froze her movements, his name escaping her lips without her intending it to. It didn't stop Chakotay. He grasped her hips to hold her slightly in the air while he thrust into her. The pressure on her cervix elongated her orgasm and the rush from Chakotay's own made her lose her focus entirely. He came with her name on his lips. She collapsed on top of him, completely spent and breathless. She shifted to release him from her body but continued to lay on top of him as they both caught their breath.


End file.
